Be more Present by Owning your Mortality

What is presence?

It’s being in one’s senses, not being caught up in one’s thoughts.

Have you ever feared that life’s just passing you by and you’re not really experiencing it?Has it ever occurred to you that you’re not what you could be- right now? That you are running on some kind of power-saving mode? Then you have lack of presence.

Actually, all of humanity has lack of presence, except some exceptional people. But that doesn’t mean everyone else is operating on the same level of consciousness. It varies greatly. The more present you are, the more enjoyable your life is. And not only enjoyable, but you also become more efficient as you can see things as they truly are and not be biased by preconceived opinions.

Presence lets you cultivate your own persona. It lets you break free of societal conditioning.

What does owning your mortality have to do with presence?

To understand that, you have to understand what truly blocks presence. We do have the answer. It’s your thoughts about past and future. If you can free yourself from those thoughts, voila! you’re present.

When you truly understand that you’re going to die, it is then that you start living. It is then that you start valuing your present moments more. Owning your mortality let’s you live every moment as if it were your last. It makes you feel that something wonderful is in your hands, and it’s not going to last very long. So you might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

One simple trick

Jessy Itzler

I was watching Impact Theory the other day and something ‘Jessy Itzler’ mentioned that stuck to me. He used to calculate his remaining days on earth by subtracting his age from average male life expectancy. Then he would write that down on his hand everyday.

I tried this for a while. It truly made a difference. It sounds morbid and depressing. Maybe it is; a little bit. But it’s a necessary dose of truth that I needed in my life. And I am thankful that I did it. It let me focus on what’s truly important to me and look through all the bullshit I’ve been telling myself.

Try this out for a day or two. See if this works for you!

Eckhart with Dalai Lama

If you want to take your presence to the next level then do check out Eckhart Tolle on YouTube. He is a master of presence. His book ‘The Power of Now’ always helps me gain sanity. It’s one of my favorite book.

 

Please like and share this post if this helped you. Follow this blog for being up to date with all my latest posts. See you in the next post 🙂

Better create yourself instead of finding yourself

I was looking for myself. I don’t know what I was thinking. But I was going insane looking for a self. He was supposed to represent me. I never found him. Maybe there was no one to be found.

Once I realized this I gave up. I thought, how about I create a self? A self that was worth working for. A self that was worth struggling for. It would be my creation. My contribution to earth. It would not be some one that should be . Rather someone I want to be.

This thought evergized me. This gave me purpose. Most of all, it gave me direction. Now I knew where to go. I knew when I was doing things right and when I was wrong.

Would you be interested in creating yourself? Why don’t you try it out for some days and see how it goes?

A powerful tool for focus and motivation: Simon Sinek’s bagel trick

What is the main reason we lose focus and motivation? Where does our motivation and focus go? Well, for me it’s obstacles. Whenever I’m focusing more on the struggles I’ll have to go through to get something, I get really discouraged.

British author Simon Sinek talks about one advice to get through this problem. He goes on to tell a story about him and one of his friend first. They were together somewhere and saw someone giving away free bagels. Simon was super excited to get the bagel. His friend on the other hand was not. The friend discouraged Simon’s enthusiasm by telling him about how long the line is and that he doesn’t wanna put up with that. He was focused on the obstacles and not the reward. Simon was the opposite. He could only see the free bagel.

At a certain point in our life, all of us accept that mere wishing isn’t enough. We must work for the things we wish to get.

Then some of us get fed up with how stale and predictable (& sometimes terrible) our life is. They get up and try to do something about it.

An unfortunate discovery is to be made at this point.

There is a good reason most people are lazy & unmotivated.

Work is hard. Pursuing ambitious goals is a dark path of constant struggle, failure, confusion & rejection. It’s freaking inhuman and a big bubble of ‘ifs, buts and what ifs’.

Getting through this is the real problem. It’s where you lose sight of why you started the journey in the first place.

This is exactly what you MUSTN’T forget.

Never let your why be blurry. No matter what it is, shamelessly accept your why. Nurture it, let it grow. Let it consume you. Otherwise, the struggle will overwhelm you and you will quit.

And this is the trick. Keep your eye on the rewards you are working for. Do not forget your why.

Achieve your most ambitious goals using one simple trick

I hate to do big tasks. It’s frightening and I’d rather watch something on YouTube. Same applies to difficult things that we naturally don’t wanna do. Like waking up early or exercise.

It’s been bothering me so much lately so I devised a plan to tackle this. I came up with a hack. And it works.

I think we all agree that, everything we do stems from our thoughts. And every action can be divided into many smaller actions. It’s real easy to convince myself to do those smaller tasks.

So now when it’s time for exercise I don’t ask myself to workout for half an hour.

I rather tell myself to just go to my workout place. Then to put my headphones on and play my workout music. Then open my workout app. Do the first task.

I don’t even ask myself to complete the first task. Just doing the right thing at this moment is enough. Somehow things get done if I just keep faith and do the smallest thing that is required of me RIGHT NOW.

What about big tasks? Like studying for long hours? If this scares you then- DON’T THINK ABOUT IT THAT WAY.

Rather try and find what’s the next small logical step. Maybe to just go to your study room. Sit in the chair for a while. Pick up a book. Read one line. Then read the next line. See how far can you go.

Watch This Ted Talk given by Stephen Duneier. He talks about a similar idea. This guy totally transformed his life using this idea. You’ll be amazed to see how much he has accomplished and how awesome his life is!

Don’t kill the kid inside you.

The kid inside you knows no reality. It doesn’t really care. It doesn’t have to. Only thing it cares about is what it wants. That’s it. Give it to him. Now. It’s not gonna stop whining until it’s been given to it.

So you have two choices. Listen to it and work your ass off to meet it’s unreal expectations. Or kill it.

I am here to suggest that you should not kill it. Rather nurture it. Work for it. Love and cherish it’s existence.

It’s the voice inside you that keeps saying you’re not done yet. That you don’t wanna be just good, you wanna be the best. That your not gonna settle. That you won’t take no as an answer. Ever.

It’s also the curious side of you. That believes the key to this world is knowledge. The part of you that is humble enough to ask. To bother others for an answer. That believes that there is an answer somewhere. You just have to find it.

The kid inside you will push you. It will give you energy, motivation and a worthy cause. It will take your hand and take you towards greatness.

Don’t let the kid inside you die. The voice that tells you that it’s all or nothing. That you deserve whatever you wish for. You may reason with it, show it better things to long for. But don’t kill it.

Train like a Dog

Reward good behaviors and punish bad ones. We do this with everyone else. Why not ourselves?

Say ”I am amazing for doing this”, “yes, I am awesome” or maybe give yourself a more constructive and well thought out compliment like- “wow, I really did a good job at doing x”.

Don’t take yourself for granted. Cherish your superior moments. Thank yourself for not being dumb and doing something right. Watch the video below to see how B.J Fogg uses this to reinforce a habit.

Don’t beat yourself to death when you falter. But gently say, hey it’s okay. But let’s not repeat the same mistake. Let’s learn and be better.

But don’t shrug off and say it doesn’t matter either. Don’t reward yourself for bad behavior. If you repeat bad behavior (like smoking, sleeping late etc) tell yourself that you don’t appreciate it and it’s better not happening again.

Train yourself like a dog for some days and see the change!

Be like an arrow on a trajectory, like a bullet on a mission..

“The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.”

— Franklin D. Roosevelt

Want to know the secret to success? Is it law of attraction? Is it perseverance? Is it staying hungry and foolish?

First let me clarify I’m not in a position to advise anyone. I’ve been a self-help junkie since I was 16; it’s been only 2 months since I’ve started applying all the knowledge. Surprisingly, these self-help things been working for me. I’ve lost 9 kg of weight, learned a ton of topics- including but not limited to stuffs assigned to me by college authority, I’ve been waking up early almost everyday, my social skills improved, I quit smoking, quit sugar and am still pumped about the next day.

And that last part is what surprises me most. I never thought I could sustain a full gung-ho mood for such a long time. But I’ve never been happier!

Well back to the main topic of this post. What is the secret to success?

I think it’s this- ‘A goal that silences everything. Something that means so much to you that you don’t care if everything else fails.’

For me, that is to make the best of my existence and to inspire others by example.

What is it for you? Trust me, you know it already. Even if you can’t say it right now, somewhere in your heart their is something that matters to you more than anything else. (Hint- it usually involves doing good for other people)

Wait, is that all?

Well, yes and no.

Yes in the sense that after you’ve known exactly what motivates you, you’ll make your dreams come true no matter what. As goes the proverb- ‘if there is a will, there is a way’

Now let me clarify the no..

Having a goal is great. But you also may need this other thing I found helpful.

Visualization.

What exactly should you visualize? 2 things- How your new reality looks like & the process you’ll use to get there.

Now why does setting a goal and visualizing about success work?

Believe it or not, these claims are backed by logic and ton of examples.

Our brain loves problems. If you don’t give it one, it’ll just create one for you. But if you give yourself a worthy problem to solve, something that both your heart and brain agrees on, you brain will try and find the solution. It will even work to solve it while you’re sleeping!

Vision is costly. That is why we have selective vision. We can only focus on one thing properly. When you have an overarching goal- you’ll be super focused and you’ll see opportunity everywhere.

 

Visualization works for 2 distinct reasons. One is that it’s hard for us to do or accomplish something beyond our self image. If you believe you can’t- you probably won’t. But- we can use this knowledge to our advantage. Visualization helps you to fool your brain into thinking that this is the new reality. Your subconscious mind accepts this new paradigm and mental blocks are destroyed.

Secondly, visualization keeps you motivated. It makes you see how much better the new and improved reality could be. That makes you inspired for success.

So what is your ‘must have’? Try these two steps and you’ll definitely see amazing results.

Please subscribe ‘now’ for more posts like this! See you in the next post 🙂

Why Learn from Others? How?

The first humans had to learn from scratch. There was no label attached to anything.

Something sounds good? It’s nothing but soothing sound until someone called it- Music.

Someone writes well? Let’s call him a writer.

Oh that guy thinks clearly and his logic makes sense! Let’s call him a philosopher.

Thus labels were created. Infinite potential became infinite fields of study- Infinite labels to achieve.

Now, no one’s good enough. As Jordan Peterson says in his book, “Who cares if you are the prime minister of Canada if someone else in the president of United States!”

South Park complains- Simpsons have already done it! Which implies that there seems to be lack of fresh ideas remaining.

Does this make the world uninteresting? Have we really come to a place where it’s finally boring to live and to learn?

Heck no! Not even close! It’s the opposite. It’s the greatest time to be alive. Even for the creative types.

You see no body creates from the scratch. Creativity is nothing but solving the same puzzle in a different way. We do this by combining existing resources.

Nokia used to make great phones and Sony used to make great cameras.

What did the most innovative company of the century- Apple do? They put camera, phone, web browsing, music everything in one thing, made it easier than others to access those things and called it a great invention. People swear by the name of iPhones. But someone else had already made similar stuff? Haven’t they?

Part 2:

It’s people like Tom Bilyeu who makes me feel like life is a game worth playing. What does he do? He invites people from different fields of study to tell their stories. Writers, designers, entrepreneurs you name it!

Learning is so easy now! Let’s say you want to learn how to rhyme. 2000 years ago you’d have to practice, fail, brainstorm, find a mentor blah blah blah.

Only if somebody else had already cracked the code! What if you didn’t need to rediscover anything? Rather, focus your efforts on learning what’s been already done and then progress further along the way?

Well, now you can! You can find every song ever published by Eminem on YouTube. For free! Who better to teach you rhyming than the God of rap himself!

You want to learn how to build an Artificially intelligent being? What if you wanna learn how rockets work? Or maybe you just want to learn how to cook your favorite dish by yourself?

There’s no limit! Somebody has already cracked the codes!

A solid example of what I’m trying to say:

Are you shy and want to learn socializing? Go google Vanessa Van Edwards. Thank me later.

This amazing woman has dedicated her whole life to crack the social code. She has hired experts, run experiments in the real world through numerous people, has written books and produced videos about it.

What do you have to do? Just learn what she has already discovered! What’s your reward? You’ll get closer to your existing friends and acquaintances, you’ll find more love and spread more joy! You may learn how to deal with toxic people. You’ll make new friends, hold better position in your job, influence your employees… sky is the limit really.

And you don’t have to spend strenuous time and energy on rediscovering anything! The dish has been served already! Just go and eat. You’ll get healthier in a matter of days!

Imagine if we insisted on reinventing the wheel! How dumb would that be? What makes us humans so great is our ability to store knowledge.

If I’ve found something with great efforts, I’ll write it down so that my sons and their sons and daughters won’t have to rediscover! They will build upon it!

That’s how lucky we are! Rabindranath Tagore has already cracked the codes of poetry! Elon Musk has already shown how to pursue an impossible dream and still succeed! Let’s learn from them. Let’s build upon them!

Humans are Running on Outdated Software: Part 2

In part one of this post I talk about Endorphin, Dopamine and Serotonin. Go check out that first if you haven’t already- here

I said that serotonin can be dangerous. But how? Well, it can make us want status so much that we forget to care about other humans. Which is not good. Corporations are sometimes on the victim side of this as their serotonin boosted Executives forget about employee’s well being.

If you feel like you need more confidence, what you need is a boost in serotonin. An easy way to get that is to by keeping good posture.

It’s time to talk about Oxytocin now. It’s often referred to as the ‘love chemical’ as it gives us sense of bond and fondness towards someone else. Oxytocin can make you want to do good for another person and feel good for it. It created comrade in armed forces and other organizations. Lack of Oxytocin and too much dopamine and serotonin in an organization may lead to too much competitiveness where everyone is trying to one up the other person. But boost oxytocin and people become cooperative and creativity flows.

There’s one more brain chemical that I want to talk about briefly. It’s called Cortisol.

Cortisol is anxiety, stress, feelings of threat. I makes our heart pump faster and our blood go quicker. It prepares us for fight or flight. It’s what pro’s call excitement before a performance and beginners call nervousness.

Cortisol is awesome for all this reasons and more. But sustained exposure to it all the time can cause from fatigue and headache to various diseases. It can generate bad mood which in turn ruins marriages and disturbs children’s mental health.

What causes a sustained overexposure?

Overly competitive workplace, low job security, anything that causes feelings of threat- like maybe comparing your humble life with the great life everyone else seem to have on display for Instagram etc.

All the other animals benefit immensely from these brain chemicals. For example, a herd deer will stop eating when they feel a Lion approaching, run for their lives with high doses of cortisol in their blood and then rest when safe. Their cortisol level will go down and they will start eating and chilling again.

But, we humans don;t live in an organic natural environment like that anymore. We are in a more advanced and sophisticated society.

We have excess of food and we can eat easily whenever we want. So there’s no need for us to be stuffing all the food at once as our dopamine tells us to. We abuse the good feelings of dopamine by watching excessive porn, gambling and staying an unusual amount of time in social media sites. All of these are harmful and should be avoided.

We live in a society where every workplace is highly competitive and there’s always backstabbers (read Lions) lurking around. For this, we are in a dangerously high dosage of cortisol- all the time! This chemical was not designed to fight in this new environment we created and now its ruining our mental and physical health and relationships.

That is why I say we humans are running on outdated softwares. Do we need an upgrade? Maybe! But also maybe not! As we can always make conscious changes in our actions. We can chose not to overeat and we can chose not to waste our lives in social media. We can refuse to work in a stressful workplace or instead we can meditate and learn how to control our own stress levels.

Socrates said, “know thyself”. This is more imperative now than ever. We need to learn about how we function so that we don’t become a victim of our own system.

See you in the next post 🙂