Acceptance 101: How to accept what is.

There’s a lot of misconception around acceptance. I intend to help you guide towards the kind of acceptance that is crucial for waking up.

Find inner peace through acceptance

First let’s talk about what acceptance is not. By definition, acceptance is not resistance. That much is clear to everyone. What remains unknown to some is that- it’s okay to resist the external. It’s okay to dislike things, to try to change them, to wish for things to be better. If you find yourself inside a manhole, you don’t have to accept that fate. It’s okay to speak up if someone’s treating you poorly. It’s okay to set goals and work towards a different future.

Then what is acceptance? It’s the acceptance of the internal. It’s when you cease to resist what’s inside. Don’t even resist the resistance inside you. Welcome everything that is in you- now. You don’t have to accept how you felt yesterday or what you might think about tomorrow. Just let your thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations flow- here and now. Observe without judgement.

You feel angry? You feel sad? There’s pain inside of you? There’s lust? An evil thought? Observe them. Let them flow.

It doesn’t mean you have to act on them. Your external reality, you actions- they are to be controlled.

You have to only accept what is inside.

The magic of persistence.

Don’t give up on your dreams. If you feel stuck, go find another way.

The tragedy of a heartbreak

I am not saying this to sound motivational. It’s not just to echo a cliché sentence that has been repeated throughout different generations either.

The reason I say don’t give up is because of a simple principle that the world works on. That is- persistence wins. If you are persistent you win. If you put in even a little work every day you win.

Even if you go at a high speed but suddenly just stop moving at all, you won’t reach the finish Line. Rather go slowly, stumble, get hurt- then get up again. You may get lost and wander around, but then come back to the track- over and over and over again. That’s how you get to the finish line. This is a very simple principle of not losing focus.

You know where the word sin means right? It means missing your target. Yes, all of us are sinners. We miss our targets. We miss our targets rather often. But This is where the idea of repentance comes from. You have to repent. It doesn’t matter that you’ve sinned, that you have gone astray. Don’t worry about that. What matters is that you get back on track. Keep moving. Keep going. Realign your focus. Realign your trajectory. Always, always remember what you really want and where you really want to go.

There’s another principle that’s prevalent in this physical world which comes to aid persistence. That is marginal Improvement. You know, they say 1% Improvement every day gives you three hundred and sixty-five percent improvement in a year. (Now, there’s some bullshit to that. When you have improved 1% for hundreds of days, it’s really hard to improve even one more percent over that- but let’s not get involved in a petty argument like that. The sentiment behind this idea is solid).

It is true that if you keep hammering the right way, even rocks turn into beautiful sculptures. So don’t lose hope. Don’t stop. You may pause, you may take a break, you may get hurt and rest for a while. But don’t lose hope and don’t stop for good. Come back to the track and keep on moving.

Because there’s real magic in persistence.

You have to hold your own hands

No one else can do it for you. Other people can give you advice. They can show you the path that have worked for them. They might even lend you a hand and pick you up from the gutter once.

But you have to be the one who holds your own hand and leads the way. You must be willing to put in the work, to show up, to love yourself like you love someone you deeply care for.

Don’t take yourself for granted. You are special. You can be useful to yourself and humanity at large. You can bring joy to others. You can end some unnecessary suffering that’s killing someone else.

But you must start with yourself. Lift yourself up. Everyday. Follow your path. Learn and grow from your mistakes.

You will fall. A lot. You might even feel like garbage on a regular basis. But that is exactly when you have to lend yourself a hand. Pat your own head and calm yourself. Life is too complicated for everyone. No one has figured it all out. Everyone struggles and falls. It hurts. You bleed. But what matters is that you stand up again. What matters is that you don’t give up.

Find out what helps you through tough times. Is it a certain band? Meditation? Running? Writing in your journal? Talking to a friend? Helping someone else?

You’ll need to come back to them. A lot.

Learn to hold your own hands. Take care of yourself like someone you deeply love and respect.

How to work when you don’t want to: Understanding Hyperbolic Discounting.

You want to reach the moon and touch the stars. You want to travel, be a ladies’ man and get good grades. You want to win the Olympics and the Nobel prize. You know nothing is beyond your reach if only you would work for it.

But you don’t. Why?

You see the movie Limitless once and decide you’ll change your life from today. Maybe you even do get some shit done for a day or two. But never more than that. Why!?

This question bugs every ambitious person that ever sets out for greatness.

Well don’t worry. You are not sick. This is a curse every human being is born with. You see, we are not very good at taking the future seriously.

They even have a name for this phenomena. Hyperbolic discounting.

If I offered you a 100 dollars now vs 300 dollars 5 years later, you will probably take the $100 bill.

Because money has a time-value.

Similarly, there is a time value of pain and pleasure!!

If you smoke today and the cancer is 20 years away, who cares! Right? If you work tonight and the fame and glory is waiting for you 8 years down the line who cares?!

I know you do care. Everyone does. But that’s the Pre-frontal Cortex talking. Sadly that guy isn’t in charge. He’s just an employee of the reptilian brain you have. And the reptilian part of your brain could care less about the future.

So, yeah, there it goes. We humans are in big trouble. By default :3

It’s a manufacturing defect.

Well now let’s see what we can do to work around this handicap.

I suggest 2 BIG Steps,

1. Get Clarity
2. The Farmers mindset.

how to beat procrastination and be more productive

Here’s what I mean by these terms:

1. Get Clarity:

   Productivity problems are often clarity problems. Here’s some steps towards greater clarity:
   a. Get clear on what exactly you want to do.
   b. Figure out how you are going to do that. And
   c. Break down the tasks to tiny little tasks.

2. Develop a farmer’s mindset:

   See every task you do as a seed you sow, It’s not the final product. It’s still on the embryo phase. Create  a good environment for your tasks and nurture them. But don’t worry if they are not perfect. They will eventually grow and become full fledged awesome crops if you keep nurturing them regularly.

P.S.

Here’s my top 10 tips for a productive day.

For some more awesome ideas about procrastination read this.