What is freedom?

I say I value freedom above all, but keep setting instructions for me to follow. To be effective and efficient, I’ve found that, I should build good habits, avoid bad habits and follow a good routine. That requires discipline to follow pre-planned ideas. That kinda goes opposite of freedom. So I think I need to rethink the model of freedom I want if I want to reconcile with the twin ideas of freedom and responsibilities.
Firstly freedom without responsibilities is neither possible nor desirable. Why is it not possible? Because, in a world of form where everything falls apart all the time, someone needs to take responsibility for my existence. If that someone is not me, then I can’t be totally free, I am bound by the wishes of some other to ensure proper existence. So that someone should be me. I need to be capable enough to shoulder my own burden.
Why is it not desirable? Well firstly because it’s not true freedom as discussed above and also because it denies dignity.

We must impose order inside and outside of us to exist. The more I give freedom to my whims and impulses the less control I have on the direction of my life.
So what is freedom really? Is it freedom to not work? Freedom to sing whenever I want to? Freedom to harm others? What is the freedom that I am after? Is it freedom of choice? Freedom from relying on other people?
I would guess I just don’t want to have to answer to someone else. I want to be the supreme authority of my life. Now to some extent that’s impossible. There’s the government and seniors and religious or other leaders who will often have authority over me. But if I can shoulder my own burden, by either decreasing my wishes or increasing my capabilities, then some above average freedom sounds possible.
Maybe the best kind of freedom is inner freedom. Freedom from being attached to thoughts and feelings. That requires constant upkeep though. I have to meditate and listen to spiritual stuff everyday.
Also I might like the freedom of designing my own life. But that would require being capable enough to shoulder all that responsibilities myself. And for that, I must let go of the freedom of being impulsive and rather be disciplined, like an AI.

Fear of Failure: Are You Lying to Yourself?

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool. – Richard Feynman

Why do some people accomplish great feats like Elon Musk whereas, most others lag behind? Its true that the law of averages dictate that most people will have average lives and only some will live a truly outlier life. Yet, it remains true that almost all of us have the necessary tools to make our lives better. Then where does it go wrong?

(Follow me on YouTube- RaihanRiad)

Have you ever wanted to help someone else? To turn someone else into a proper human being? Probably your own children, or someone else you are responsible for? Well, no matter who that is, you are at most 50% responsible for how their lives turn out to be. You know who you are 100% responsible for though? That would be you, yourself. Yet why is it that we find it hard to conjure up enough motivation to do something about our own lives?
It’s becuase of fear of failure. It would suck if you tried to do the right things and then failed. You’ll be 100% responsible and you will feel miserable. Fear of failure is one of the worst internal enemies that each of us battle with regularly. It lies to us and makes us work on projects where we can shift the blame on other people.
For example: how many people would say they want to solve humanities biggest problems? Better yet, how many people think that they could actually do better than the people currently responsible?
Yet when you look at their personal lives, maybe one of their parent is fighting with depression. Don’t you think that person should try his/her best to solve that problem first? What about your big aspirations that you gave up on when reality became unbearable? Don’t you honestly think, if a human can climb Mount Everest, walk on the moon, make a space shuttle company with only 100 million dollars (i’m thinking Elon Musk) then a human, namely you, could also break into the music industry or learn about Artificial Intelligence, or become a heart surgeon (or whatever your dream was that you gave up on)?
You are a very special being with incredible powers of neuroplasticity, adaptability and resilience. Don’t sell yourself short. Fear of failure will make you shift focus to other people’s problems and justify that by saying that its nobler. But the reality is, deep down you are just afraid.
Tackle the problems that would immediately make your life better. Stop cowering behind projects that would either take an eternity to complete or where you can easily shift the blame of failure to others. That’s how you beat fear of failure.

I hated discipline so I looked for better alternatives.

I have always struggled with procrastination. It’s in my genes. I am always submitting things late, often doing them in the last possible moment. Most of my academic studies are done the day before an exam.

A few months earlier I decided to change that. I decided that I’ll do the right things at the right time. But, I couldn’t. I kept slacking off.

So, I went to the all knowing Google and asked it how I could develop discipline. The answers were plenty. The answers were helpful.

This is one Quora reader had to say: “Discipline is always hard. It’s not going to be easier even after 10 years of practice. So mind will always say no. The trick is to stop listening to the mind. Do what you have to do. Pain of discipline is the price of happiness.”

Isn’t it beautiful?

I got so moved by this message that I sprung into action. For 2 days straight I wasted no time in vain. Until I did. In the 3^rd day, my exams were over and I fell back to my usual, lazy self.

After that, I tried to adopt discipline again in my life, multiple times. But I failed. So I started looking for different ideas that could help me with my procrastination habit.

One lazy evening, I was hanging out at a friend’s dorm room. I picked up a book and started reading it. I got hooked. I kept reading the book for about 2 hours before falling asleep.

When I woke up, I realized I had come across a rare gem. This is the book that I needed. I picked up the book again and started thinking about how I would use this in my real life.

And boy o’ boy was my life changed! This book shook my entire life. I realized I didn’t need discipline. At least not the kind that we are familiar with- where you force yourself to do things.

This book helped me realize how my identity was the fuel for my actions. It taught me how I had to organize my environment to facilitate the things I want to do. It taught me how to get rid of my vices.

The book is Atomic Habits.

(You can read my book review about the book here: Atomic Habits is a must read for everyone)

Atomic Habits is a must read for everyone

Professionals stick to the schedule;
amateurs let life get in the way

We fail to live up to our potential for many reasons. Some of us are just victims of bad habits. Some just can’t beat fear. Then there are others who are shackled by their tendency to procrastinate. These things work diligently everyday to keep us where we are, or worse- get us spiraling down towards hell.

These monsters are real. They pretend to love us, make us fall victim to short-term safety and pleasure. They are cunning and know how to break through every wall of reason that we build.

Your higher self calls you. You want to answer it. But, you don’t. You can’t actually. It’s because of these monsters. Stephen Pressfield calls them Resistance. Resistance stems from you but is not you. You can defeat it. You just need some weapons in your arsenal.

I first saw James Clear on YouTube. I instantly knew he was legit. Later when he published a book I knew I had to read it. The Book is called Atomic Habits.

Atomic Habits is a perfection. There are many books and gurus for habits. James Clear borrows from them and then add his own wisdom to it. Thus, Atomic Habit is comprehensive and tackles almost all the practical issues that we face regarding habits.

The best thing about the book is how it illustrates the relationship between habits and identity. Here’s a quote from the book:

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.

The main discussion of the book revolves around the 4 pillars of habit: Cue, Craving, Response and Reward. Clear goes in depth about how to utilize these phase to build good habits and delete the bad ones.

When you apply the teachings of Atomic Habits to your life, you beat resistance. You stop being a hedonist and start your journey towards stoicism. You are then in the path of manifesting your highest, truest self.

Even a little improvement today goes a long way over time. Your life will soon be vibrant and filled with meaning. This book will show you how to take proper care of every aspect of your life- health, wealth, art, spirit… you name it. Through automatizing the most important yet mundane tasks, you’ll find true freedom. Through building rituals your performance will be consistently good and improve over time.

When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running