What is freedom?

I say I value freedom above all, but keep setting instructions for me to follow. To be effective and efficient, I’ve found that, I should build good habits, avoid bad habits and follow a good routine. That requires discipline to follow pre-planned ideas. That kinda goes opposite of freedom. So I think I need to rethink the model of freedom I want if I want to reconcile with the twin ideas of freedom and responsibilities.
Firstly freedom without responsibilities is neither possible nor desirable. Why is it not possible? Because, in a world of form where everything falls apart all the time, someone needs to take responsibility for my existence. If that someone is not me, then I can’t be totally free, I am bound by the wishes of some other to ensure proper existence. So that someone should be me. I need to be capable enough to shoulder my own burden.
Why is it not desirable? Well firstly because it’s not true freedom as discussed above and also because it denies dignity.

We must impose order inside and outside of us to exist. The more I give freedom to my whims and impulses the less control I have on the direction of my life.
So what is freedom really? Is it freedom to not work? Freedom to sing whenever I want to? Freedom to harm others? What is the freedom that I am after? Is it freedom of choice? Freedom from relying on other people?
I would guess I just don’t want to have to answer to someone else. I want to be the supreme authority of my life. Now to some extent that’s impossible. There’s the government and seniors and religious or other leaders who will often have authority over me. But if I can shoulder my own burden, by either decreasing my wishes or increasing my capabilities, then some above average freedom sounds possible.
Maybe the best kind of freedom is inner freedom. Freedom from being attached to thoughts and feelings. That requires constant upkeep though. I have to meditate and listen to spiritual stuff everyday.
Also I might like the freedom of designing my own life. But that would require being capable enough to shoulder all that responsibilities myself. And for that, I must let go of the freedom of being impulsive and rather be disciplined, like an AI.

A few Life advices that I learned from Dr. Jordan Peterson

Choose a star and journey towards it. You might ask, ‘Which star?’. The answer is, ‘It doesn’t matter’. If you are moving, you are defeating entropy. Entropy, the second law of thermodynamics, is always there to get you. Don’t let it get you.

Every day, ask yourself, ‘What stupid things am I doing that I should stop?’

Ask and ye shall receive an answer. Stop doing those stupid things. Do this daily and your life can be repaired beyond your imagination.

Don’t compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Improve upon your shortcomings. That’s how you keep getting better with each day. Soon you’ll like what you see in the mirror.

Assume responsibility. Things go wrong in life often. Assume as if you have something to do about that. Then you can work towards being better prepared when things go wrong again in the future.

Be humble. You are nowhere near as cool as you could be. Open your eyes and look for areas for improvement. Listen to other people as if they have something important to teach you.

Sacrifice. Clinging to your ideas is what makes you stale and stops you from growing. You have to die a little to be reborn as a better person.

Don’t lie. Especially to yourself. You’re easier to deceive than you think. It creates great suffering when someone fools themselves.

Do all of this poorly. Don’t aim for perfection in the first go. Even when you’re doing just an assignment, do it poorly at first. You can always improve what you’ve made. But trying to be perfect in the first go will paralyze you with fear of failure.

And last but not the least, clean your bloody room bucko!

(These thoughts are inspired by Dr. Jordan Peterson’s lectures)